When I think of my early education, I can recall several bad
experiences which had a lasting effect on my identity as a student. Without a
doubt, I had positive experiences in school but; the bad experiences are the
first ones that invade my memory. I want to share 2 personal stories with you
that I will later relate to our assigned readings: Situated Learning,
Legitimate peripheral participation( Lave & Wenger, 1991) and Radical
Pedagogy, Identity Generativity, and Social Transformation (Bracher, 2006).
Story 1
When I was in grade primary, our day began by reciting the
“Our Father” prayer. One morning, I did not stand with everyone else to recite
the prayer. I was in the middle of
something that I wanted to complete, and I must have felt that task was of more
importance than standing up to pray. I
only recall the teacher marching toward me, pulling me out of my desk by my arm
and smacking me across the face. I can
still recall the sting of the tears rolling down my face. I was humiliated.
Story 2
I struggled with math in grade 9. I was very shy and didn’t like to ask
questions. I did not like attention of
any kind. One day in math class, I mustered up enough courage to ask the
teacher a question. I asked him to please explain the math equation a second
time, as I didn’t understand what he was doing. The teacher replied “of course you don’t,
you’re a girl and all girls are stupid”.
The entire class laughed. I was humiliated.
I avoided asking this teacher question’s
but continued to endure the humiliation of other female students who dared to
ask for assistance.
As I continue to read Radical Pedagogy, Identity, Generativity,
and Social Transformation, (Bracher, 2006) I am fascinated by the idea that
identity vulnerability is the common root cause in impediments to learning and
personal well being. As I stated in my
last blog, I find myself soul searching and analyzing some of the decisions I
have made in my previous jobs, and in life. I find this book has encouraged me to
learn more about the subject matter of identity, and to learn more about myself.
I have searched online for information on identity and
learning, and I came across several postings that discussed Communities of
Practice. One posting was titled Communities of Practice a Brief Introduction
(Wenger 2009), provided an excellent summary of Communities of Practice. This posting discussed what Communities of
Practice looked like, and where the concept of Communities of Practice is
applied. As well, I read an online post titled
Identity and learning by Catherine Lombardozzi that discussed the
formation of identity within a community of practice. In her post Lombardozzi (2011) states;
“The community of
practice literature especially focuses on the idea that learning is a process
of learning to be. As we take on
various roles in our lives, and become part of many different communities, they
all influence who we are in that context. We don’t simply learn how to play, we
learn how to be a child. We don’t simply learn math
and geography, we learn to be a student. We don’t just learn to
process claims or manage people, we learn to
be an individual contributor or a leader.”
I thought
about this statement and wondered, what type of a student did I “learn to be”? What types of experiences
did I have that encouraged my learning, and what types of experiences did I
have that threatened my identity impeding my learning? I feel the stories I have shared with you did
have an impact on my learning. The fear
of humiliation was definitely a
threat to my identity, because the last label I wanted was that of
“stupid”. As well, I learned at a very early age to do what I was told or suffer
the embarrassment of punishment in front of my peers. Within this Community of Practice, I was
learning to be an obedient and uninspired student.
In Lombardozzi’s (2011) on line post, Identity and
Learning, she further states “what we
do with our working lives is part of who we are. That sounds obvious and uninteresting until
you think about it for a while. We who are in the business of helping people learn
in the context of their jobs or their professional pursuits are in the business
of identity formation” This statement provided me with much food for
thought. As educators in the workplace,
or in the school system, we have the ability to make a positive lasting
impression on a student or colleague that could be life changing for them. Equally,
as in my experience, we can have a negative effect on the formation of one’s
identity that can have lasting effects. This “business of identity formation” is a thought that I will try to
remember, because I want to be the type of educator that will contribute in a
positive way to the development and growth of one’s identity.
References:
C Lombardozzi (2011, September 24)
Identity and Learning (web blog). Retrieved from http://learningjournal.wordpress.com/2011/09/24/identity-and-learning/
E. Wenger (2006, June) Communities
of Practice; A Brief Introduction. Retrieved from http://www.ewenger.com/theory/).
Bracher, M (2006). Radical Pedagogy:
Identity, Generativity, and Social Transformation. New York, NY: Palgrave
MacMillan
Lave, J., & Wenger, E. (1991). Situated
Learning: Legitimate Peripheral Participation. New York, NY: Cambridge
University Press
Those early childhood experiences are so important in forming our relationship with the learning process and how we view ourselves and our abilities. I also had a lot of bad experiences in my early days of school. I was a very shy, quiet child, a book worm. I was terrified of my Grade Primary teacher; she was nothing like my mother. I came from a loving and supportive home, no yelling or spanking. I used to throw up in the morning before school and run home when I saw my teacher. Eventually, I conformed and bit the bullet, went to school and hid behind my fear. Those were the days of the strap, I decided at a very young age I would not accept it, I would run home. It never happened, thank God.
ReplyDeleteYour Math experience was similar to my Science experience. I was an artist and did not relate to my Chemistry class mainly because of an overbearing teacher. He used to tell us,”Women’s Year is over.” And “Women should not be taking Science.” One day, I told him one day I couldn’t solve a problem that we had for homework. He humiliated me in from of the class saying I didn’t do my homework. I stayed after class and asked him why he lied. He told me to leave. I went straight to the office; the VP had been my History teacher and knew what I was like. He took my side. It was a miserable year for me, took me a long time to get over.
I made a promise to myself when I became I teacher that I would never make a student feel like that and I have kept that promise.
Hi Dina,
ReplyDeleteGreat blog! Your two stories were very moving, thanks for sharing.
I also feel that Bracher’s book, which I have just started to read, has made me want to learn more about identity and identity vulnerability. The book discusses the importance of developing more secure identities and the need for educators to better understand the importance of identity as a motivating force. I would also like to be remembered as a teacher who contributed in a positive way to the development and growth of my students. The book makes it clear that as educators it is important that we understand the dynamic of identity.
Marilyn
Hi Dina,
ReplyDeleteThe stories you discuss are very disheartening. It is clear to see that these events had a negative impact on your learning experience. I believe teachers are in an amazing position to promote and provide for positive learning experiences. Unfortunately, many students are not blessed with such teachers. Bracher discusses the importance of recognition, “the most fundamental identity need is the need for recognition, and the need to have one’s being appreciated and validated, or at least acknowledged... (p7 pp2) I am sure you felt neither validated nor appreciated in those situations.
I recall a day in grade primary, it was story time. Students were permitted to rest their head on the desk during story time. I fell asleep, and was awakened to my teacher pulling me up by my ear. I was wearing gold stud earrings, and she pulled it out of my ear. I told my parents what happened, they were not as upset as I had wished they would be. That is the memory that comes to mind when I think of grade primary. My teacher for grade one was a lovely, caring, and sweet woman. I have many great memories of grade one and it is because of the teacher.
As we develop and grow our identity is evolving. It is important that teachers are aware of the vital role they play in promoting that growth. Moreover, as we have learned through Bracher, it is important for teachers to support the identity of the student throughout the learning process.
Hi Dina,
ReplyDeleteI have heard many stories that are similar to yours and without a doubt those experiences would have an impact on you and your learning. I often wonder when I hear stories such as the ones you described if the teachers had or have any idea of the permanent effects they have left on the identities of their students and their learning in situations such as yours.
It seems to be that it often can be much easier to recall the negative experiences in our lives no matter how many positives there also are. I try to reflect on all of the good teachers that I have had and what they did that made them good so that I can do the same!
After reading Bracher’s book it seems obvious that young women would begin to accept the fact that they would not do well in math and science if they were constantly told that they are not good at it. Since it did tend to be a general belief in society it would most definitely have an impact on young women’s identities and the courses and careers they chose. Although it is still somewhat present, I hope the notion that girls don’t do as well as boys in math and science is fading as more women become educated and choose careers related to math and science.
Bonjour Dina ! How many of us have witnessed and have been
ReplyDeletepersonally subjected to incidents in school which created unnecessary heartache and embarrassment ? We have been blessed with the opportunity to both grow and learn from our mentors-our parents and from some of "those teachers" who made a positive impact on our lives. There were and there always will be other children who are not as fortunate.
I can still recall the day I received the "strap" in grade one. She immediately place it on her desk every day so you would know that it was there. My mother was recently talking to her at aerobics. She said "both of your boys were good students". We did not have much of a choice.
In grade 9 we had the principal for our Latin class. I really enjoyed this course, but the instruction was so rigid. He would make us stand everyday to review and recite the homework. I remember a few of us received 100% on our first test. He replied " don't let this test go to your heads" This man did not support our identity at all. It was "an identity vulnerability". His teaching strategies certainly impeded the learning and the enjoyment of this class.